7.12.11

Im too weak for all of His test..seriously im too weak..all the burdens that I carried (the curse) for a long time ago already made me a damn stubborn strong guy till now..day by day, Ive learned a lot of things..from the whispering, talking, eyes witnessing, observing..but today..I learned something that made me scared since from what Ive learned from this "curse" is 100% accurate. Undoubtedly. I wanted to let all of you noe da truth, but im speechless..you might think im crazy, or even worst u will  say that im just making up a story to scare all of you (since im a very sinful person, please forgive me ALLAH)..if you do ask me what's the story, I will tell you..but I will not speak any words, I will give you something & let you think..this is not a J.O.K.E..seriously..

7.12.11, what will happens on that date? It's kinda clueless, but many already talked bout that date coming..only ALLAH knows..hopefully I will get any sign first (or da last one)..or I will have to get the clues outside here..*sighs*..daily, midnite  mostly I will get a strange feelings + my body tempt will rise up..I dont know for what reason it's keep happen..but it's kinda annoying me..*sighs again*...gtg..my "cursed eyes" need rest..tomorrow will reedit & continue typin...

Shocked.

*searching 4 sumthing*

*where izzit? (getus dlm hatiku)*

*this one? naah*

*keep searching*

*wow, wat a gorgeous body..(it's my GTR 35 ok)*

*belek2 sket info psl my dream car*

*put da book back in place*

*feels like sum1 watching me*

*head up my head, saw a blurry figure quite distance from me*

*doin my tiny eyes (to get clear picture)*

-____-

err..xnmpk..sorry..

*as I was trying to leave the bookstore, the blurry figure comin towards me*

*I was like,  "siapa plak minah ni"..*

*I turned my back, starting to walks out of da bookstore..*

*then suddenly, "Awk..nmpk len skrg, igt slh org td.."..*

*I was like :O.."I knew that voice.."..*

*lookin back &..*

Tiba-tiba, tak diduga
Dikau berdiri di hadapan mata
Mengembalikan nostalgia, memori bersama
Membisu seribu makna, rahsia terbenam didada..

*time freeze for 30 seconds*

*blushing*

*err..aa..err..*

*she's smiling at me*

*sori sy..*

*she come closer to me..*

*took out my wallet*

*she's searching for sumthing*

*she's smiling again*

*"still keepin it ya?"*

*took back my wallet*

*"sori sy aa..er.."*

*dgn pantas nye ak cabuttt*

 *ANDA WAT SY CUAK OKEY?*

*LARI LAJU2, AAAAAARGHHHH*

Hey.Hey.Hey.

Bru lepas mkn ubat selseme, sblm ak start ngantok o wat so ever, bek ak tlis nukilan dkt sni..heee..

Stengah jam ak abis kn mse lyn fb td nk crik2 features bru dorg apply, haram, stu pn ak xphm..byk shortcut yg da ilg..hilang minat, lantas ak amek pluang lyn lagu + nulis blog..

Im doing some drastic changes now, sorry, I cant let u noe anything from me anymore even from the third parties itself (sorry I'll have too), so for the comin date, is the last one u will hear or see me, that I'll promise you..wanna keep distance rite? so I'll also wanted to keeep loooooooooooooong distance with ya..:)..

Hehe, so EVIL rite..? Well I dont give a damn what you guys think or talk shit bout me..I gotta do what im gonna do..Im R.E.B.E.L.L.I.O.U.S remember that..start raising my AK-47 since my H.E.A.R.T broken into billion of pieces..change tactics before I'll get hurts somemore..f***..im not so emotionally stable right now..talked to GOD, humans, my Mocca-ca, but still feels the burdens that im carrying right now..mayb I should talk to myself..hee..:D..that Im gonna start holding a knife..start to..well it's kinda scary isnt it..

Better for me to lay down, defragmenting my brains..*take deep inhales* *continue typin* ..*yawns* well, the meds start to take effects..oh goh..I think I cannot take it anymore..well get ready guys...

*put ma hands on the starting line..go!! lari laju2*

Same.

    Ya, this the symptoms that I'll get lately. Around certain of time I will found my self shaking cold & really bad aching + I have to take the painkillers to reduce it. Well all can I see now is the BIGGEST THREAD of HATRED comin ma ways. I noe I do many stupids things before. But it da way for me to learn something. the path & what i've done before, shape up a person that I used to b today.Im so sorry.

   Maybe Im gonna do my hibernate mode again. well im not in mood to socialize (what's wrong wif me?)..the blog tittle's explained everthing here.I'll give my heart away..away from everything..including L.O.V.E ..I tried to lookin at sum1, & ask my self "does she's pretty?".."can I love her?".."wow gorgeous?"..but every single girl that I looked, none of them really caught my attention.I do not noe y.


Lookin at girls make me feels like im just lookin at the boys..just plain, total plain feelings. I dont noe y I end up this way. Felt guilty, but mayb He do have something for me ahead. *deep sighs* *inhales*. What a total mess tat I created. Cant  believes my self much nimore.

 Hey, btw remember, when I met some1, I will put a mark on ya, so when someone tryin to be u, I will noticed it. So dont even try do that, since once I got punked,I will forever mark u as a L.I.A.R..so lagu vdoe clip ats nun pn da bis..so smbung len ari la k..

on your mark, get set..*lari lajuu2* :( 

Goin Soon.

 Bila, aku sudah tiada
Simpan semua lagu ku
Jangan di tangis selalu

Mungkin, itu sementara
Bila jumpa penggantiku
Jangan dilupakan aku...

Pagi itu indah seperti biasa
Tidur yang lena terhenti di sana
Layap kuyu masih tak terdaya
Bukalah tingkap mu curahkan cahaya

Siapa yang sangka
Bila tiba masa kita untuk pergi selamanya
Takkan terduga
Jika saat ini tuhan tentukan aku lah orangnya
Bila, aku sudah tiada
Simpan semua lagu ku
Jangan di tangis selalu

Mungkin, itu sementara
Bila jumpa penggantiku
Jangan dilupakan aku...

Gelak tawa tangisan yang hiba
Kenangan kita masa di dunia
Alangkah indahnya jika
Kita mampu hidup selamanya

Siapa yang sangka
Bila tiba masa kita untuk pergi selamanya
Takkan terduga
Jika saat ini tuhan tentukan aku lah orangnya

Bila, aku sudah tiada
Simpan semua lagu ku
Jangan di tangis selalu

Mungkin, itu sementara
Bila jumpa penggantiku
Jangan dilupakan aku...

Now..Just Let Me Go..

This past few days I felt really calm + FREE..mayb G.O.D put sumthing ahead for me..with this feeling also include a reeling moments, well, he cant S.T.O.P testing me..well I hope there r sum improvement from her, I wanna she to b stronger, even in a wrong way the way I did it, but that maybe the best for her..the PATH that currently takin is more challenging than before..easily can trip if im not aware enuf..
 Yeah, hey read carefully, I noe u tryin to hurts me with "that".But guess wat, it doesnt work like I said b4. She's YOUR'S now?,. Just sayin this randomly, next time,if u wan SEND something, just send something which more stronger, old skull 1. Im MORE that u can ever imagine. Im protected by الله‎ unless He let that thing happens, than u can hit(s) me. Oh, btw, ur thing leave a bloody marks on my sheets, couldnt reach to ma chest uh? poor u..:)
  Not to talk big here, just sayin, it was truly wasting time..well gtg, oh ya, im not "sending" any it back 2 u..

What's Wrong..?

When we do close talk lately wit ma bestfren I found out that nite something is REALLY going wrong wit me..by reasoning with him I discovered that I actually really NOT INTO GIRLS anymore..not sayin im a GAY, Im a normal person just IM TOTALLY LOST THAT FEELING'S..seriously he said that maybe "SHE" put a spell on me someway, but I dont think so..I had this FEELING'S maybe because IM HURT TOO MUCH back then..until now, no one can truly ever win my heart..even some of u reading this might actually sitting in my heart for a while, but when I thinking bout "HER", SIMPLY I can forget what WE HAD DO TOGETHER BEFORE...


Going out 4 a while just now also made me realize that I still keep her stuff, even her pic..seems like I cant FORGET her even I already forgive & forget what happened before..I am truly SORRY for what happen now..mayb im not will be going to marry or something..CLOSED my HEART already..because the space left only for "HER"..IM SORRY..please do HATE me coz I LOVE HER SO MUCH..
...

*   LARI LAJU2   *

Eid 2011

Selamat Hari Raya to all my dear frenz..haiyo raya taun ni as usual lah like previous one (boring, but a bit happenin coz braye dgn adik ipar katenye.) -& dri ku juga pnuh dgn trnsformasi, ah mls wa nk mebebel pjg2, huhu..4me if raye next mgkin lg gempak dow kerna (InsyaAllah if umur msg2 pjg)..adik ku sdh ngandung 2 bln..hehe..gile kentang mude2 lg ak da dpt tittle pak long..hahaha..hope they both doin well in their marriage..aiyo..time2 raya jgk la kene sakat dgn pak2 sedara.."x lme lg, jd la raja"..ala..raja sehari la mknenye 2..adess..ssh tul...terkesima ak nk jwb soalan 2..hehehe..



Yeah..lps raye byk dugaan tul yg timbul..1.9.2011 tarikh yg ak igt smpai bile2 coz time 2 la kete ak kne langgor dr blkg..adess..mmg dugaan btul..skrg ak agk fobia ble de kete bnti dkt blkg ak..(syg kot krete ak, 2 jela rete yg ak de stakat ni)..tp ak tau 2 sume dgaan dr-Nya utk ak x leka o prigtan utk ak utk hal2 trtntu..ak sgt redha dgn ktntuan-Mu Ya Allah..aminn..pape pn ak bersyukur ke ats mu kerna still lg bg hamba-Mu ini pluang utk smbut raya..:)..



..recently I got hints & awkward moments which indicate "she's" around..I bet she's do so since we have "that" chemistry whenever we are near each other..I told my mom bout it..but my mom said.."it's up to u.."..she seems not denying about her, since she do like her till now..feels so worried till now.."she's" told me sumthing & kept silent till now..oh man..;/..adoi2..be strong..always I am, but when come to "that" thingy, cant be strong (since she's have all my weakness)..M.U.S.U.K, YOU TOTALLY KILLING ME ;(..*bye,smpai sini je utk rini lari laju2*